Hi Y’all I’m Kelly Procter and I’m a person in long term recovery from alcohol and drug addiction.
By the grace of God my sobriety date is 4/6/15!
Born and raised in Austin,TX along with a large circle of people who loved and cared about me. I was always involved in extracurricular activities. Always wanting to have more and do more, trying to fill a space I felt blank in my life. As I grew older I experimented with alcohol and drugs which lead to more people, places, and things into my life which made me feel more a part of something but little did I know that something about just me being active in my addiction. It was fun at first thinking I was this living the ideal role of a human being, working two jobs to support any and all of my habits while looking like I was in control. Which I was or thought I was but it didn’t last for long it just lead into a huge delusion that everyone could see but myself.
One day I tried to prove that heroin wasn’t addictive leading me to become dope sick which lead me to never wanting to feel sick again and to not stop using but to never run out..Spoiler alert I always ran out of dope there is no way not too and no such thing as using wisely, but I tried. Heroin become my everything, not just because I was destroyed every relationship I had leaving me just with just the small circle of my using buddies.Imagine being on a vacation and not even being present for it, well that was my life.I was on probation at the time from a DWI when I first went to rehab but was so embarrassed and ashamed to tell my PO or my job at the time so I went with this I’m going on a medical testing trip to find a cure for Hep C thing. Feeling like I was at one of my lowest times of my life in rehab I quickly found out rehab wasn’t bad at all and it’s very helpful and that I wouldn’t get in trouble with the courts for taking myself to rehab for help. They looked at it as a good thing and were happy I was there.
I was introduced to the big book but I didn’t trust too many people so I thought it would be best if instead of finding a sponsor I just sponsored myself. Another spoiler alert, It doesn’t work, I learned that I’m the last person I used with and not all of my ideas are the best and its best to talk to someone else and to put pen to paper.My sobriety lasted a few months until I was back into the same pattern of hopeless and numbness this time pregnant and trying to hide it and pretend that I wasn’t to everyone but my family and their friends. As soon as I had my daughter I had CPS in my life, which was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I was offered a choice to keep using and lose my newborn child or to turn into a life of recovery and do all that is suggested for my child and I.
I got sober a few days after having her and went into a 90 rehab with my newborn daughter at my side . I was truly tired of being sick and tired and was so miserable I was finally willing to do this for my own self. I wanted to be present in my life again, to be a mom, a daughter, a friend again. I cut off all ends with negative people and have never looked back. I was finally focusing on myself and learning things about myself I didn’t even know. I didn’t want to miss out on anything, but the one thing that surprised me the most was having fun in recovery, I mean who would of known!
Today I am grateful for all my struggles that lead me to where I’m at today. I get to inspire others and continue to grow and push my recovery forward and be part of a movement. All the shame and guilt from my past I get to wear as an armor to help others be strong and love themselves until they can. I never pictured to be where I’m at today as a strong beautiful mom in recovery, and I wouldn’t change it for the world! There is so much more to come, ups downs, you name it but today I’m able to face any situation that comes my way and I’m surrounded by my tribe along with spiritual tools I get to use to move forward with. I’ve done a lot of bad and good in my life but I get to be an example. If I can do it, you can do it, please don’t be afraid to reach out. Recovery is possible and you’re worth it. Thank you for my Recovery and allowing me to spread the message.