My Journey From Heroin And Crack Cocaine To A New Life In Recovery

Hello, my name is Ashley May. My sobriety date is April 9th 2016. I am a recovering heroin/crack addict.

I started using drugs 14 years ago and “hard drugs” I started using 10 years ago. During my addiction, I have tried to get sober on my own many times, all unsuccessful. I have 3 beautiful babies I lost custody of. I had 11 months sober back in 2013.

After my relapse, I started going to jail often, in and out. I was in a number of dangerous situations. I was doing anything and everything to get my fix. I was selling myself and robbing anyone. The scariest thing of my life happened on April 7th 2016 at 11pm.

I was in a hotel room that my pimp had told me to stay at. A few hours after being there alone there was a knock at my door, and it was his “friend”. He told me he was supposed to stay there with me until my pimp returned. So I allowed him to come in. We sat there and smoked the rest of the crack that we had. He started walking around the room, and out of nowhere he started hitting me on my head and face with something hard, a glass ashtray. I was bleeding and screaming for help, he continued to hit me and I was fighting back with all of my strength. I finally got the door open, he hit me a few more times and then he ran away.

Completely covered in blood and terrified, I was still screaming for help. Finally help came and I had to go to the hospital and had 17 stitches put in my face. The cops caught him within minutes. My mom picked me up and took me to her house – an hour away. My addiction took over the next day – and that night I stole her car and her money and drove an hour back to where I was and got high one last time.

Driving back I wasn’t scared or nervous, I was numb to everything. I got pulled over right down the street from her house and went to jail. From there they gave me 180 days and offered me an option of getting Vivtrol and being released after 30 days. I agreed to that…just so I could get out early and go get high.

Well, after my 30 days and spending half of that time in lock down, they didn’t let me out. They decided rehab was the only way I could get out. I was so angry. Two days later I got out, and sent to a rehab. This was the best thing to ever happen to me.

I didn’t get the Vivitrol shot again, and I am still sober, I work 2 jobs, I’m active in AA, and enjoy my life sober today.

I’m slowly being included back into my children’s lives and doing all I can do to improve myself. The man who attacked me is in prison for the attack, I pray for him and hope he finds happiness and never does that to anyone ever again. I’m going to take this day by day, but sobriety is something I take serious today and I can say I love myself today and want to stay healthy and live.