To Rebuild My Future, I Finally Put Myself and Recovery First

To Rebuild My Future, I Finally Put Myself and Recovery First - #VoicesProject

My name is Jeremy and I am a person in recovery from addiction. To look at my life a few months ago compared to now, I never thought I would be able to share my story, let alone survive this horrible disease.

While drugs and alcohol have been a large part of my life since my teen years, I was introduced the real demon about two years ago. A friend of mine at the time introduced me to Oxycodone, and after that there was no turning back.

Oxycodone, in my view, was the ideal drug. It was something prescribed by a doctor, in pill form, and the effects were seductive because I could still somewhat function and it gave me such a sense of well-being that I understand why it is so addictive.

My addiction followed the ever popular sequence of events that most addictions take the form as. I started taking the pills a half at a time, then started crushing and snorting them, then smoked them. My preference became to snort pills, and the amount I used went from a half to one pill on the weekend to nearly 5 pills a day.

The first major problem I ran into was the financial issue. The money I saved up quickly dwindled away and soon enough I started to borrow money from people that I never paid back, started doing payday loans and as a last resort was pawning items for cash. At the peak of use I was getting pills fronted to me which I would pay for later.

After a while of sustaining my use, things got worse when I overdosed at my job, which I lost of course. I was forced to move out of my place and was faced with unemployment and the threat of homelessness.
After moving into a place, I kept things going until one night I made the single worst decision of my life which took away my place to live, my girlfriend that I loved to death, and the trust of those around me.

Simply put, I stole money from the person I was living with, and out of desperation and guilt, I denied it.

Things got even worse after that. I attempted to get back up on my feet, moving from place to place, and wound up homeless with a dead-end job living in my car stealing food from the local grocery stores. This was one low point of many, and I saw no hope in sight.

My recovery began with a single phone call and agreement.

I had been staying with my coworker briefly and the time came to pay rent. I begged my poor father to pay one month’s rent one day, and he said to me that he would pay the rent if I got treatment. Within a week I made a phone call to the doctor and got started on Suboxone treatment.

Suboxone allowed me to start getting my life together and after beginning treatment, things rapidly got better. I moved out from the double wide trailer I was living in to my friend’s house, started a career in masonry, and started getting back into the activities I used to enjoy like hiking and other outdoor activities.

In essence, this experience taught me that only you can save yourself and that you really have to want to stop for yourself and nobody else. Even though I lost a lot, damaged many relationships, and put myself in an even worse financial situation, I fight hard every day to stay on the right path.

It’s not easy, but I remain grateful I can wake up every day free of the obsession that so many addicts face. I remain hopeful and keep my head held high and do the work. I know there will be roadblocks ahead but I’m more equipped now that I ever have been because I never want to be where I was.

So whatever place you’re in, I pass this message along to all people struggling with addiction.

Wherever you are in life, may you have the will to live, fight hard and reach the other side, I believe in you!